User blog:Click here for cookies/The Dream Team Wiki Battle to the Death - Chapter 6

iufhgaestsiuegh my browser is so fluffing laggy i swear to god im taking 30 extra seconds to get anywhere im sorry

Also, NONAMEMANBRO has asked to be called Peter instead of NONAME, so that’s who Peter is.

Chapter 6

When I come to, I’m lying in a deep Netherrack hole. My first thought is, Have I been buried alive? Then I vaguely come to the realization that I’m on fire. My hair is intact, thank the holy God, but my clothes are slightly ripped and Yacmef is nowhere to be seen. I check the chat: She survived her own bed explosion, of course. Ah, well. It may have been too much to hope that she took herself out.

I also realize that I’m bleeding. My hands are lodged in flames, stuck in a rock, something, and I manage to carefully slide them out. My fire resistance is over in a few seconds, so I scramble out of the fire and stomp it out. Based on the fire resistance, I can tell how long I’ve been unconscious - about a minute.

 SAYONARA CLICK

Jerk.

Knight kneels beside me and gives me a golden apple; I gratefully bite down on it and heal. Then I put my Netherite armor back on.

“Thanks, Knight!” I say, feeling much better now.

“No prob.”

Knight and I take off and leave the Nether to meet up with Just and Yeet. They’re waiting for us on the other side when we come through, and we organize all our supplies for travel once again.

And then, out of nowhere, this pops up in the chat-

Yacmef has made the advancement [Cover Me in Debris]

''Crap! Now she’s got full Netherite!'' I think in dismay.

NONAMEMANBRO has made the advancement [Cover Me in Diamonds]

NONAMEMANBRO has made the advancement [Cover Me in Debris]

Love, ParkerXOXO has made the advancement [Cover Me in Debris]

Them too?!

Suddenly the chat is overflowing with the total number of messages.

Yacmef has made the advancement [Spooky Scary Skeleton]

JustHereForNothing has made the advancement [Cover Me in Debris]

Yeetmoi has made the advancement [Cover Me in Debris]

Click here for cookies has made the advancement [Enchanter]

Winged Lizzarrd has made the advancement [Cover Me in Diamonds]

 what the fluff yall

I’ve upgraded Just and Yeet’s armor to Netherite and enchanted everyone’s armor but Knight’s, since he’s already enchanted. Now we’re all full enchanted Netherite! That’s great, right?

I suck at this “being positive” thing.

Since we’re all still in the jungle, I step out of it and call, “Attention! There’s war between me and Yacmef, and I need you to choose a side!”

Knight gives his three allies five enchanted golden apples each, and Peter decides to third party (the gall of him-) us.

 STAR, PARKER! LET’S 3RD PARTY THEIR WAR IF YOU BOTH WANT

Yacmef has made the advancement [Enchanter]

NONAMEMANBRO has made the advancement [Local Brewery]

I tell my allies to stay hidden in the jungle unless they need to run, and I leave to sneak into Parker, Star, and Peter’s fort. The fort is on a side of the jungle I had not seen; only by peering through the trees had I seen it, behind the jungle. And behind their fort was a village, which they had obviously looted.

 LET'S 3RD PARTY YAHHHHH

 pog why not

The building is well fortified with redstone detectors and traps, but I manage to dart around them and enter. It’s surprisingly cozy inside, with bookshelves and cute little storage chests. Simple rugs and chairs dot the room, and there’s a coffee table on the rug.

I tiptoe up behind the three occupants in front of me, discussing battle plans in the fort’s comfortable armchairs. “Hiya, Parker, Peter, Star! Wanna be allies?”

They jump in surprise. As expected, they whip out bows and axes, aimed at me. I lift my hands.

“Perhaps you didn’t hear my-” I start.

“No, we heard you fine,” Star growls. “Why should we trust you?”

I can feel their hesitation, though, knowing how powerful I am and could get. I smile, step back just far away enough, and pull out the gear they could potentially have. “I only hurt those who hurt me first. Stay loyal, and you can count on me to protect you if you aid my allies and I in battle.”

My eyes are fixed on Peter’s M16, and everyone appears stony, but I can see the tiniest twitch of - what? cunning? indecision? - in Parker’s eyes.

“Click, you have nothing to offer us!” Peter tries to stab me with his Sharpness III diamond axe, but I dodge it.

“That would’ve done, like, half a heart of damage. You’re smarter than that, Peter. Of course, you could do much more if that axe was Netherite….” I casually examine my nails while fingering a couple ingots of Netherite.

When this does not get a response, I try one last time. “Were you not looking? Perhaps I didn’t show you our full potential.”

I swiftly flip through all of the OP items on me, using sleight of hand to display them one by one. First comes the multiple sets of full enchanted Netherite armor, then the enchanted Netherite weapons and tools, over twenty strong potions, enchanted, branded shields, explosives, stacks of golden apples, and much more.

By the time I’m through, the light in the threesome’s eyes from the enchantments has faded, but it’s replaced with the glow of desire. Parker shakes her head, trying to clear it of my persuasive voice.

“Yeah…. No thanks!” She tightens the string on her bow, and shoots. It almost seems as though she’s doing it against her will, though, which I take to be a good sign.

I duck the arrow and take a jab with my sword at Peter’s arm, and Peter swerves around me and hightails it out of the fort. In the distance, a few seconds later, I hear Peter gunning Knight, possibly wanting a less confusing opponent.

“Dude, why is everyone attacking me?” I grumble. “I only want to make friends, and maybe allies.” An arrow flies through the window and lodges, point quivering, centimeters away from Parker’s skin.

 KNIGHT IS THE FORT DONE YET

 it is come quick click

 i swear if you made that joke on purpose-

I turn back to Parker and Star, who haven’t moved. “I just don’t think you have anything interesting to validate an alliance with you, Click,” says Parker evenly. She suddenly jerks out and swings her axe, Da Bee, at my chest. I jump out of the way. “Parker-”

Yacmef has made the advancement [Eye Spy]

I really don’t have time for this right now.

“Parker,” I continue, “listen to me. Please. Yacmef has nothing for you, and she won’t be anything but alone, anyway. It’s not good to be caught in the middle of war; your choices are to either stay out of the way and possibly get killed because you’re a nuisance to other people, or join the war on the winner’s side. And I have complete confidence that, with all of us against Yacmef, we’ll come out on top.”

I’ve always had a gift with speeches, and Parker looks at me a long time before sighing. “Tell me, Click. What are my benefits? I don’t care for your fancy bribes.”

 I’m bored, Click. I’m on the edge of you know where, I’m here if you need backup. I’m worried for you, and Broken Heart yearns for blood.

Yacmef has made the advancement [The End?]

“Why don’t we talk as we walk? We need to all go to the End anyway, to beat the Ender Dragon before Yac does.” That’s not strictly part of the rules, but I have my own reasons for beating the Dragon, and the others don’t question it.

I start to pack up my shiny things and leave; there’s such an air of leadership about me that the others feel obliged to follow, although our acquaintance is on shaky ground. They start forward, at least, but then Parker stops and holds them back. By the time I notice they’re not with me, I’m a while past all their booby traps (it didn’t take long). So I have to message them.

''You whisper to Love, ParkerXOXO: Parker, time is short, alliances quick and easy. You stand to gain everything by fighting with me. What do you want? I can give it to you.''

No response.

I’ve reached the stronghold, and in record time I’ve killed the Dragon, with Yacmef nowhere in sight. It still takes a sweet minute, though.

I open the chat, which instantly floods over with updates.

Click here for cookies has made the advancement [Eye Spy]

Click here for cookies has made the advancement [The End?]

Click here for cookies has made the advancement [Free the End]

 Click, need any help?

DreamsWorstKnightMare has made the advancement [The End?]

Yacmef has made the advancement [Withering Heist]

The last achievement burns in my brain, and the fires surrounding the image flicker, confused and startled.

Author’s notes -

1) It may seem like I was concerned about my beauty in the beginning of this chapter, but having your hair on fire is actually a very terrifying experience. The thing is, when hair catches on fire, the fire zwoops up the slim hair and onto your scalp in the space of half a millisecond. And when multiple hairs catch fire, it’s very likely that your entire head will catch fire as well. So, just a not-fun little scientific tidbit for you.

2) Sometime while I was writing this, Parker changed her username from Love, ParkerXOXO to LemonStickersXOXO, but I kept her username in the story not because I was lazy, no sir because she’ll always be Parker to me U^U.

3) When Just says she’s on the edge of “you know where”, she’s referring to the jungle we’ve been taking refuge in.

4) As pointed out in the A/N of chapter 5, c!Click is a little full of herself. That’s just the character. But I’m putting this here because I felt like voicing the twitch of cringe I felt while proofreading my work. :’)

References:

- None for this chapter -v-

Members:

Click here for cookies (Click, Cookie)

Maki is magic (Maki)

JustHereForNothing (Just)

Yeetmoi (Yeet)

Blursedimages (Blursed, Ghostimages)

StarShadow2 (Star)

Yacmef (Yac)

ThEtBe (ThEtBe)

LemonStickersXOXO (Parker)

Winged Lizzarrd (Lizzarrd)

DONTFEEDMYBEESCOCAINE (Tele)

NONAMEMANBRO (Peter)

Orchifly (Orch, Orchid, Ghostifly)

DreamsWorstKnightMare (Knight)

SimpWasFoundUwU, I didn’t include you because you joined when we were extremely deep into the roleplay.

Graynotfound, I didn’t include you for the same reason.