User:Agatexshinee

Tommy: Did it hurt when you fell-

Ranboo: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-

Tommy: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

Ranboo: ...

Tommy: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

Puffy: It's called cauliflower, not ghost broccoli.

Schlatt, eyes wide: I know what I saw.

Schlatt: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?

Puffy: Depends. Is your bed comfortable?

Schlatt: Yes.

Puffy: I'd sleep.

Sapnap: You have Crayons?

Skeppy: Yes, I have—

Sapnap: You're— how old are you?

Skeppy: YES I AM AN ADULT AND I HAVE CRAYONS, I HAVE A BOX OF EMERGENCY CRAYONS IN THE CABINET UNDER THE TV BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS SOMETIMES, OKAY? EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS.

Bbh: I feel like I have died and gone to heaven.

Skeppy: I have that dream, too, but you go in the other direction.

Skeppy: I am 39 cheetos tall.

Bbh: Why... are you measuring your height in cheetos?

Skeppy: Because we're out of doritos.

Niki: Y'know, I once knew a man who said to me: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” He also had a pair of sideburns that would cause even Jude Law’s face to weep in forfeit. You put those lemons in a sack and beat your enemies with ‘em! And maybe if you beat ‘em hard enough the bag will split open and lemon juice will spray into their eyes, causing intense burning pains as you crush them into a citrus-y pulp!

Puffy: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Their heads or the lemons?

Niki: Whatever caves first!

Tommy: How would you like your coffee?

Dream: As dark and as bitter as my soul.

Tommy, shouting to someone behind the counter: I need one vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar!

George: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Dream: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

George: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Dream: Is it working?

Karl: You are an absolute fucking dork.

Quackity, singing: Yeah, but I'm your dork!

Karl: *sighs* Yeah, you're my dork.

Karl: Here you go, Quackity, a nice hot cup of coffee!

Quackity: It's cold.

Karl: A nice cup of coffee.

Quackity: It's horrible!

Karl: Cup of coffee.

Quackity: I'm not sure if this even IS coffee.

Karl: C U P.

Karl: What has the galaxy ever done for you?! Why would you wanna save it?!

Quackity: Cause I’m one of the idiots who lives in it!

Purpled: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT!

Tubbo: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.

Purpled: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?

Tubbo: Somehow that's worse.

Tommy: I am going to need you to swear-

Tubbo: Fuck.

Tommy:

Tommy: ...swear as in promise.

Tommy: Oooh, a train!

Purpled: We’re in a train station, Tommy.

Ranboo: Do you want to know your gay name?

Tubbo: My... my gay name?

Ranboo: Yeah, it's your first name-

Tubbo: Haha. Very funny Ranboo-

Ranboo: *gets down on one knee* And my last name.

Tubbo: Oh- oh my god.

Tubbo: Why are you drinking?

Tommy: I drink when I'm depressed.

Tubbo: But you're always drinking?

Tommy: *smug grin*

Tubbo: Dearly Beloved, we are here today to remember Tommy, taken from us in the prime of life; when they were crushed by a runaway semi, driven by the Incredible Hulk.

Tommy: Aww, you knew my favorite cause of death.