~~~
*talking about a clone*
Dream: Did you know it wasn’t me? The… other Dream.
Sapnap: Right away.
Dream: How? We look identical. He was wearing my clothes. He even had identical scars and scratches.
George: He offered to cook breakfast.
~~~
Tommy: You’re going to cook?
Techno: Aren’t you hungry?
Tommy: Not that hungry.
~~~
*learning to drive*
Sapnap: …What?
George: Could you take it easy on the hairpin turns?
Sapnap: I’m getting better. I just had to practice.
Dream: I didn’t know a van could go up on two wheels like that.
Dream: For so long.
~~~
Phil: There are seven chairs and ten people who need to sit. What do you do?
Tommy: Have everyone stand.
Niki: Bring three more chairs!
Ranboo: The most important ones can sit down.
Techno: Kill three.
~~~
Wilbur: FUCK THAT CHAIR. PARDON ME FOR MAKING MYSELF COMFORTABLE DURING A SINCERE HEART TO HEART DISCUSSION WITH A DEAR FRIEND IN NEED!
Wilbur: BUT THE TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO CEASE STRADDLING THIS DEEPLY OFFENSIVE PIECE OF FURNITURE! AWAY WITH YE, FOUR LEGGED TEMPTRESS! DISTRACT US NO MORE WITH THE MOST BASIC AND UTILITARIAN FORM OF COMFORT YOU SUPPLY!
Quackity: BINGO!
Ranboo: What?
Quackity: Wilbur just threw a tantrum about a chair….
Quackity: I just won Wilbur Tantrum Bingo.
~~~
George: *bumps into the door*
Dream: Are you okay?
George: Yeah I'm fine.
Dream, to the door: You stand in George's way one more time and I'll make sure to take you back to the FUCKING carpentry store.
~~~
Phil: I don’t know where I’ll be if it happens, but if Technoblade dies, no one will see me for about a week.
Techno: Same.
~~~
Dream: I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to let you go.
George: Why? What have I done?
Dream: Don’t think of it as being fired. Think of it as being promoted to a customer.
George: You’re giving me my job back.
Dream: What? No I’m not.
George: The customer is always right.
~~~
Puffy: I am ready to commit to my family, get a job, and support my kids!
Ranboo: I am ready to commit to this cheese.
~~~
Techno: It brings me pain to look at you.
Dream: SO HOW DO YOU GUYS LIKE MY FIVE DIFFERENT SHADES OF BRIGHT GREEN???
~~~
(invented by me)
Purpled: Yeah, I just have a bunch of random facts about myself sitting around in my head.
Punz: Same, hah.
Purpled:
Purpled: WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT ME?
~~~
(mine)
Wilbur: It’s my birthday!
Techno: Oh, happy birthday.
Tommy: That’s cool, because it’s my half-birthday.
Techno: Well, happy day that makes your regular birthday less special.
~~~
(mine)
Tommy: What day is it?
Tubbo: 12:24 P.M.
~~~
Ranboo: Do you even have any brain cells left?
Tubbo: It’ll cost too much.
Ranboo: I’ll just assume “no” for now.
Tubbo: I love that song.
~~~
Dream: What are you, twelve?!
George: On a scale from one to ten, yes.
~~~
Techno: Tommy died of natural causes.
Niki: YOU PUSHED HIM OFF OF THE ROOF!
Techno: Gravity is natural.
~~~
(mine)
Quackity: What does snazz mean?
Slimecicle: Hmm… Snazz. Like zazz. Jazz. Poggers. But. Like. With sparkles. And bling. And snazziness.
Quackity:
Quackity: I’m just gonna use Google.
Slimecicle: Good idea.
~~~
Tubbo: Yeah, I speak Britese.
Ranboo: You mean British?
Tubbo: Yes, that.
Ranboo: And you suppose I speak Americese?
~~~
(mine)
Karl, enthusiastically: This chair has a SEAT!
Karl: …For your water bottle.
Karl: *gestures frenetically to the cup holder*
~~~
(mine)
Tommy: I am the Grim Reaper… I will steal your soul….
Wilbur: I don’t have a soul.
Tommy: Okay! Good for you, ‘bye.
~~~
Tommy: Hi, Dad. I’m repeating everything everyone says.
Phil: Oh, you are, are you?
Tommy: “Oh, you are, are you?”
Phil: Knock it off, Toms, that’s annoying.
Tommy: “Knock it off, Toms, that’s annoying.”
Phil: I forfeit all my desserts for a week.
Tommy: Great, give them to me.
~
Wilbur: Stop repeating everything I say.
Tommy: “Stop repeating everything I say.”
Wilbur: Quit it.
Tommy: “Quit it.”
Wilbur: I’m an ugly little maggot with lumpy gravy for brains!
Tommy: At least you have the courage to admit it.
~
Techno: How much longer are you going to repeat whatever I say?
Tommy: “How much longer are you going to repeat whatever I say?”
Techno: Okay, then. Just keep at it, Mr. Annoying Human Echo.
Tommy: “Okay, then. Just keep at it, Mr. Annoying Human Echo.”
Techno: *opens a book* “We can a priori and prior to all given objects have a knowledge of those conditions on which alone experience of them is possible, but never of the laws to which things may in themselves be subject without reference to possible experience.”
Tommy: We can ah peoria and… um… slow down. What? Hold on.
Techno: *blows raspberry*
Tommy: Cheater.
~~~
Foolish: I heard that Mr. Puffy isn’t here today.
Dream: Really? Can we go home?
Foolish: Of course not. We have a substitute teacher.
Dream:
Dream: Can I send in a substitute student?
~~~
Tubbo: *sighs*
Ranboo: Tubbo, what’s wrong?
Tubbo: Nothing.
Ranboo: C’mon, something’s the matter. What is it?
Tubbo: Nothing. Really.
Ranboo: Tubbo, c’mon, you can tell me. What’s wrong?
Tubbo: Everything.
Ranboo: Okay, now that we’ve covered the extremes….
~~~
(mine)
Sam: Yeah, I’m in Ponk’s boat here. We’re good.
Ponk: We are gay :f boy face:
Sam: What?
Ponk: What? Oh — *lowers hand*
~~~
*Tommy and Tubbo are playing a violent video game*
Schlatt, from the other room: What are you boys playing?
Tubbo: Whip Mega 3!
Schlatt: That had better be rated M, son!
Tubbo: It is, don’t worry!
Tommy: Man, I wish my dad thought M stands for “Mild”.
~~~
THE UNIVERSAL PING LIST FOR INCORRECT QUOTES
@TheOceanSeeker @Illey Is A Simp (apologies if you didn't want to be pinged, star) @An Unnecessary Bayleaf @VityzSykes @Yacmef @MisaoTheIrishFox @SSMeifwa205 @Jasmyn Flowers @Ash's Second Herald @AniCanFly @Orange 89 @Aphlonwy @Didanoot @I like mcyt @Fernadashelp @Colbaltz @Georeg404 @Hovernotfound @OnlyInTheShadows @Kidiot @SHEAINTHHOUS1 @Fragmented Dreams @Morningsky155 @-Parzivalwastaken @Wade Da Warden @Morningsky155
Click
