might make this a series idk
ranboo: The time to act is now.
ranboo: Wink, wink.
tommy: Don't say "wink wink". Just wink.
ranboo: Oh, sorry.
ranboo: Wink
Tommy: I SAW YOU HANGING OUT WITH RANBOO YESTERDAY
Tubbo: T-TOMMY IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK
Tommy: I WON'T HESITATE BITCH *PULLS OUT A GUN*
Phil: Hey Tubbo could you read number 23 for the class
Tubbo: No I cannot! What up, I'm Tubbo, I'm 19, and I never fuckin' learned how to read!
Phil: You either buckle down and do your work or you'll end up at McDonald's.
Tommy: WE'RE GOING TO MCDONALD'S IF I DON'T DO MY WORK?
Phil: NO
Phil: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions?
Tommy: Put spaghetti in it.
Phil: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you.
Wilbur: Put spaghetti in it.
Phil: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two.
Technoblade: Put spaghetti in it.
Phil: I'm no longer taking suggestions
Phil: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?
Tommy: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
Wilbur: I personally was created in a lab.
Technoblade: I just straight up spawned lol
Phil: Dammit, Tommy!
Tommy: What?! It wasn’t me!
Phil: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Wilbur!
Wilbur: Not me either.
Phil: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?
Technoblade: *whistles*
Tommy, setting down a card: Ace of spades
Wilbur, pulling out an Uno card: +4
Techno, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you
Phil, trembling: What are we playing
Phil: Why are Tubbo and Ranboo sitting with their backs to each other?
Tommy: They had a fight.
Phil: Then why are they holding hands?
Tommy: They get sad when they fight
Phil: You know those things will kill you, right?
Tommy, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.
Wilbur, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.
Tubbo: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*
Wilbur: Why is Tommy so sad?
Phil: He took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes
Wilbur: And...?
Phil: He got Ranboo.
Wilbur: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Tommy: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Phil: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.
Technoblade: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Tubbo: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Ranboo:
Ranboo: I have emotional scars.
Wilbur: Am I in trouble?
Phil: Take a guess.
Wilbur: No?
Phil: Take another guess.
Ranboo: Tubbo, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason.
Tubbo, wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than his size: Spooky
Tubbo: *standing on a balcony and sneezes*
Phil: *standing on the roof* Bless you.
Tubbo: GOD?!
Ranboo: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait.
Tubbo: You and me!
Ranboo: *tearing up* Ok.
Technoblade: *writing a letter*
Technoblade: Dear Santa,
I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty...
And it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard.
Sapnap: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone’s cheeks, look into their eyes...
Sapnap: ...And violently jerk their head until it snaps.
George: ...That took an unexpected turn.
Dream: So did their neck
Sam: Here’s the cold medicine you asked for.
Sam: *dumps 3 shopping bags of wine on the table*
Dream: ...Thanks
Tommy: You remind me of the ocean.
Wilbur: Because I'm deep and mysterious?
Tommy: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people
