Happy 16th of November, everyone :)

Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/story/350763128-the-innes%27s-guide-to-vigilantism-villainy

The Innes's Guide to Vigilantism and Villainy

Or, the story of a completely normal, powerless human boy in a world of heroes and villains

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Page One: Give Your Tragedy a Dramatic Prologue

trag·e·dy /ˈtrajədē/, noun; a play dealing with tragic events and having an unhappy ending, especially one concerning the downfall of the main character.

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At the beginning of our hero's story, there were closed doors.

At the beginning of our villain's story, there was a pillow over his head.

At the beginning of our vigilante's story, there were shouts and silence.

At the beginning of the story, his name was Theseus. His name was Theseus Simon Craft.

Now, say hello to him, because this is the beginning of a start and an end. This is a myth's first page and a rumour's last. This is the opening of the story of a completely normal, powerless human boy in a world of heroes and

villains.

Hello, Theseus.

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Every day was the same. Most of the time, anyway.

Theseus's eyes blinked open to the sunlight streaming through his window.

Bleary blue eyes met the blue sky. For a moment, he just lays there, watching the gold and auburn leaves flutter from the trees. He could almost feel the cool autumn breeze on his skin. It was a good day for November.

Wait, shit. Why is it so light out?

Theseus rolled over lazily in his blanket cocoon, a sigh escaping his nose. He glanced at his alarm clock and briefly saw the afterlife. The time read seven fifty-two. He had to be on the bus in eight minutes.

Hastily, he jumped out of bed, tripping over a stray t-shirt. He grabbed it and gave it a good sniff. It didn't smell too bad, and there were only two stains on it. He could barely see the weird smudges on the red. He pulled it on, along

with a pair of khakis and a battered, obnoxiously bright red jacket.

He rushed out of his bedroom. His feet sank into the well-worn carpet. He dashed down the hall and took a turn into the bathroom, stubbing his toe on the door in the process.

Theseus shouted profanity, but like always (thank the gods) there was no one around to hear it. His father would be at work, as usual. His brothers... Gods knew where his brothers were.

Theseus squeezed cherry-flavoured toothpaste onto his brush. The toothpaste was from a dental office and tasted like ass, but he didn't mind. He rinsed his mouth, put on some deodorant, and ran out of the bathroom,

swiftly brushing his hair with his fingers in the process.

Socked feet swished across the floors, subtly breaking the silence of the early morning. Theseus slid into the kitchen melodramatically, flinging open the fridge while loudly humming a rap part of a Hamilton song. Normally, he'd be too embarrassed to do such a childish thing, but whenever his family isn't

around, he's the king of the house.

Which was most of the time, because Theseus is always the Biggest Man.

Theseus glanced at the box of Manifold Flakes on the counter. He hated the cereal brand with every ounce of his being, and they took too long to make. Instead, he grabbed a pop tart from a cabinet and a Coke from the fridge.

Jamming the wrapped pop tart into his jacket pocket, he put on his shoes.

Then he remembered his pet fish and hastily pulled his shoes off. He opened the pop tart packet as he ran back upstairs, bursting into his bedroom. A citrus-golden fish swam obliviously around her fish bowl.

Theseus pressed his nose against the glass. "Hullo, Clementine," he revered, marvelling at her glory. He broke off crumbs of his breakfast's crust, sprinkling it into the water. He didn't have fish food; his family didn't even know Clementine existed in the first place.

Shame on them, Theseus thought with a sigh, bless their poor souls.

Suddenly, he remembered the stakes at hand. He cussed again, unfortunately in front of Her Majesty Queen Clem, but he didn't stop to apologise. He ran back down the stairs, jumping off the final few steps. His sneaker flat-tired as he stamped into it, but he didn't bother to fix it before

hurrying out the door.

Theseus's feet slapped against the pavement as he ran by rows and rows of big, neat houses. They all looked the same; big, neat, grassy yards, big, neat paved driveways, big, neat, clean white house. Rich people's houses. Boring houses.

Oh, right. The bus.

Theseus raced down the sidewalk towards the bright red stop sign. His heart sank as he watched a big yellow vehicle pull up. "No, wait!" he cried, hoping the kids at the bus stop would hear him.

They didn't. Theseus sped up, backpack jostling against his body as he struggled to get to the bus stop. It was getting a little suspicious; the kids never seemed to hear him. Or, maybe they ignored him.

Theseus skidded to a stop as the bus doors slid shut with a hiss and it pulled away without him. "Oh, for the love of Prime!" he cried to the crow on the stop sign. The crow fluttered his wings and flew off, leaving a few obsidian feathers floating down towards Theseus.

Not even the godsdamned bird wanted to hear him speak.

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@Drowned Ultima @YourFriendlyNoob3712

Thanks for reading :)