All posts by An Unnecessary Bayleaf

When you abandon plot lines because they taste bad and then pick them back up because you actually found the right seasoning this time and need more plot anyway?

Haha, yup.

Antique Shops go brr I guess

The most concerning thing here is probably how haphazardly the cards out of frame are stacked-

Yeah, that's right, there's more

Be afraid, because I sure am-

The prologue of this first series in my Crossroads AU might be coming out soon.

Don't hold your breath, because it's me, but keep it in mind.

....Yeah.

There are just.

So.

Fucking.

Many.

AND IF I CAN'T HAVE PEACE OF MIND, NEITHER CAN YOU!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA-AC- HACK- COUGH-

Anyway-

•  Wolf in Sheep's Clothing - Quackity:

Literally perfect for Quackity's fucking everything, just listen to any part of the song with his character in mind and literally you can picture him fully just going off on everybody who's hurt him over the many months of the SMP.

• Polarize - BBH:

I don't want to hear it, okay, because literally I've been a Blurryface fan since it came out, and I listened to it again recently, and as soon I heard this song I knew it had to be Bad.

Don't believe me? Listen to it. Read the lyrics as you listen along. I wouldn't do my favorite character dirty, and I've proved before that I'm good at this.

Go on. Have a listen and tell me I'm wrong.

I dare you to.

• Cradles - Enderwalk Arc

I don't actually know how to explain this one, because it just feels right, y'know?

And the beats are just so fucking pleasant and fun to fuck around with-

Also, the line "eyes covered in ink and bleach," for some reason I always heard it (even before ranboo) as "pink and green" and started animating it out of spite when I found out that this was not the case.

• Toxic Thoughts - Wilbur's descent

Arguably the best part of this song is that it's a unique combination between Over The Garden Wall, Hamilton, and the Indie genre, and all of that together is quite literally just Wilbur.

Also, and I've said this before, but just listen to it with the lyrics pulled up and tell me that it's not a Wilbur song. The backtrack sound at the end too just sells the whole thing, because in an animatic the end of the song would be Wilbur's death, aka Wilbur's descent.

Anyway-

• The Nowhere King - Dream

This song is the reason behind my every nightmare, because the offkey lullaby is literally more terrifying to me than hearing fallen down on a Ranboo stream.

Which means that it's obviously just fucking perfect for Dream.

I can actually paste the lyrics here because there aren't that many and I think you'll get what I mean-

Hush now, hide, all you little ones

Rush now, into the middle of nowhere

Singing and laughter will die

Dreamless sleep, follows the Nowhere King

When his kingdom comes, darkness is nigh

Quiet, crawl to the in-between

Silent, secretive feeling

Of fearsome hatred that reaches the skies

You will bring joy to the Nowhere King

When he sees the light leaving your eyes

....Yeah. Point made.

Anyways.

• Warbringer - Manberg V.S. Pogtopia

Fight me, I dare you.

• Wellerman - Puffy

This is less about Puffy's actual canon lore and more of me getting excited about a song that so perfectly captures her pre-smp story that I have somewhat roughly planned (Ironically it intersects with Bad and Skeppy's several times) and me wanting to animate Puffy commanding a ship and crew.

Yeah.

Fight me.

• Dear Wormwood - Tommy

I'VE SAID IT ONCE, AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN, THIS IS THE MOST PERFECT FUCKING TOMMY SONG THAT I HAVE EVER FOUND AND THAT IS INCLUDING THE ONES THAT WERE ACTUALLY WRITTEN AS DSMP SONGS ABOUT HIS LORE.

YES THAT IS MY OBJECTIVELY CORRECT OPINION AND NO YOU CANNOT CHANGE IT, FUCK YOU.

That concludes my list of songs I'm itching to animate.

So we all know and love Tales, and that Techno has played more than one entertaining power hungry character in many of the stories, Sir Billiam being a fan favorite, and many more to boot.

But did you notice how all of them were pig skins? This could just be because haha Technoblade goes brr, but it could also be because they were netherborn piglin hybrids or even just straight piglins.

As we all know, netherborn piglin society puts value on material possessions, though most of them are so simple as to just prefer gold.

What if the characters in tales were all piglins, and that this plays a role in their behavior? I could see it.

After all, even Techno, while holding value in things that most average piglins would scoff at, is pretty much the OG of marrying the grind.

So it'd be pretty natural to assume that piglins who manage to move to the overworld without turning quickly rise to positions of power because of their lust, greed, and brutish nature.

...anyway-

We all know that the minecraft death mechanic isn't very realistic, but here is my proposed fix

TW FOR MENTIONING SEVERAL, AND I DO MEAN SEVERAL WAYS TO DIE

When a person loses a life but still has some remaining, it takes varying amounts of time for them to 'respawn' based on how long it takes to regenerate the wound that killed them.

For example, someone who burned to death in lava would take a longer time to regenerate than someone who was killed by a clean slit in their throat.

This would also apply to how long the body stays corporeal before just, magically dispersing into what we've taken to calling XP, finally disappearing completely when the lights fade out to aid in the regeneration of the respawning person.

Using the previously mentioned example, someone who was burned to death in lava might not even have a corpse to disperse as they respawn because of how destroyed it would be, whereas a person who's throat was cleanly slit might have their corpse last until they respawn anyway.

(I'd like to note that when a person dies but it isn't canon, they've simply obtained a substantial amount of injuries that did not manage to kill them, but really just put them out of commission until they heal naturally with saturation or with regen pots)

Here's a scale on how long regenerations might take based on my own personal convictions, scaling from the least damage to the most. Note that the least damaging ways are not necessarily the most ethical or painless, and that lost limbs do not regenerate as they are not crucial to survival.

Minimum regeneration spans:

Blunt force trauma (fall damage) - 5 to 15 minutes (dependent on the height of the fall)

Suffocation (without water) - 10 minutes

A clean wound in fatal/vulnerable areas - 20 minutes

Drowning - 35 minutes

Strangulation - 45 minutes

Mild regeneration spans:

Externally caused organ damage (being shot, stabbed, or otherwise shanked in a way that has caused fatal internal damage) - 45 minutes to an hour and a half

Decapitation - 2 and a half hours

Starvation - 3 hours

Burned to death (fire) - 2 to 6 hours (dependant on the severity of the burns)

Moderate/severe regeneration spans:

Beat to death - 8 to 12 hours (dependant on the severity of the damage inflicted)

Severe face/head injuries or lacerations - 10 to 12 hours

Animal attack - 14 to 18 hours (dependant on how much regeneration is required to get the body functioning again)

Caving in of the chest - 20 to 30 hours

Dismembered - 35 to 50 hours

Burned to death (Lava) - 60 to 80 hours

He was led down into a bedrock level vault, and Tommy couldn't help but sigh. How cliche could this trap get?

And of course it was a fucking trap, because otherwise Dream wouldn't have sent a vague message with even vaugier coordinates that threatened the life of a friend he used to care so much about if Tommy didn't show up.

Tommy wasn't shocked to find Tubbo shivering in a box-like cage, not unsimilar to the one he was murdered in so long ago, tied up, gagged, and clearly worse for wear. It was predictable, sure, but at least this means that baiting Dream was about as easy as he thought.

He might even be able to rescue Tubbo, though the more he considered it, the more unlikely it seemed. Dream, for all his talk about complete apathy, did not like to lose his assets.

Tubbo looked up as the entered further into the vault, and his red eyes started tearing up at the sight of Tommy's presence.

Whether it was out of relief or something else, a dying hope, or even fear, Tommy couldn't tell as the brunette tried to tell him something through the gag.

If the cliches were to be believed, he was trying to signal that Tommy had just walked straight into a trap.

There was the sound of a drawn bow, the whistle of a released shot and a muffled cry of pain as Tubbo was thrown against the back wall of his prison and pinned there by an arrow that had gone clean through his shoulder.

Tommy had jumped back in surprise, looking over to see Dream holding a meanly enchanted bow and looking at Tubbo disdainfully.

"Quit your whining," The masked man said coldly, and the muffled whimpers of pain that came every time the goat hybrid tried to dislodge the arrow from his shoulder ceased, replaced by heavy, uneven breathing and quiet hisses of pain

"That was uncalled for," Tommy observed. "It's not like he could have warned me about the trap you have laid that I totally didn't see coming through the gag."

"Try working with all that noise," Dream said, rolling his eyes.

"Hm, if it's a problem, maybe don't kidnap people for no reason? I think I had made it pretty clear before that I don't care what you do with him," Tommy droned, looking at Dream with a bored expression.

"Then why do you care now?" He asked like he thought he had something, proof that Tommy was manipulatable through Tubbo, and it made him want to laugh.

So he did.

"I don't think living creatures should have to suffer if they're going to die anyway. Everything deserves a quick and painless death... All except you," he said, still laughing. "It has less to do with whether or not I care and more to do with how much pain, exactly, do you want to be in before I kill you?"

"...An interesting viewpoint," Dream said at last. "You really are dead set on killing me, then? Permanently?"

"Well yeah. No fucking duh," Tommy said, rolling his eyes. "Have I not made that obvious? I intend to take every single one of your lives personally."

"Hm." The masked man drew his axe. "And what makes you so convinced of that?" He asked, tilting his head.

"Oh, that's simple!" He said, smiling. "See, you think you're so smart, and I guess you fight smart, always a step ahead..."

He glances at his axe, chuckling slightly. "You fight smart... But I find that I much prefer fighting dirty."

Tommy's netherite axe flew through the air, and hit its mark with a satisfying crack, followed by the clattering sound of an axe and the two pieces of a shattered mask.

Dream had stumbled, clutching his hands to his face, which were now both stained red.

"Ooh, that looks like it hurts!" Tommy teased, stepping into a ready fighting stance. "Why don't you come and fight me now, coward? No more mind games."

"You're going to regret that," Dream snarled, hissing in pain as he flicks blood out of his eyes.

"We'll see about that."

@PoggersRanboo

@Elvira234

@EnderaMine

@Anchenwill

@ArcanaFlower

@Shadow Agent Isabelle

It was under a strange and unforeseen circumstance that Tommy was once again racing the sun up a mountain.

This time, though, he was inclined to let his celestial companion triumph over him this instance of their constant chase, because at the peak of this mountain was a confrontation he wasn't sure he was ready for.

It was high noon by the time he'd pulled himself over the final edge and onto the top, and whatever was left of that old childish nature wanted to laugh at that irony.

He was there, of course, and the blonde couldn't even find it himself to be mad that Dream had been so bold as to set up a jukebox, nodding his head to the oh so familiar sound that drifted out of it.

Honestly, it made the bubbling laughter growing inside of him suddenly so much more intense. How could someone who pretends to be so smart act like such a fool?

"Hello there, Dream," Tommy greeted, smiling warmly. He felt that it might put Dream off if he just started laughing, so he'd resist that urge for now. "Good to see you alive and well. It's hard to kill someone who's already gone and died."

He smiled wider as Dream seemed to shift in discomfort.

"How... blunt," the green clad man said dumbly.

"Well, considering I was minding my own business as per our arrangement, and you decided to harrass me anyway, I feel like maybe, just maybe, it's a little bit justified," Tommy said brightly, his axe casually hung over his shoulder and his stance casual. "After all, I had just about convinced myself that it was better you didn't try to provoke me, like I thought you were going to. But then I go outside, and there are a bunch of fucking messenger crows shitting all over my backyard."

"How terrible," Dream replied, his voice monotone and uncaring. "Unfortunately, our business isn't finished."

"No," Tommy agreed, pulling his axe down from his shoulder into a resting position. "I suppose it isn't. Where are my discs, asshole?"

Dream tsked. "Just your discs?"

"Yeah? What, you didn't lose them, did you? I know that one in the jukebox isn't my Mellohi, because if it is I have severely overestimated you."

"Hm. And Tubbo? Is he not-"

The blonde scoffs, cutting Dream off with an irritated flick of his wrist. "What about Tubbo? You finally stopped playing with your food and plan to kill him now? Took long enough, but good for you. Discs, now." He holds out his hand expectantly, looking at Dream with a blank expression.

"Unless you want me to end your pathetic existence today? I'd be happy to oblige," he said flatly, lifting his axe slightly.

"...I see. Very well then, I supposed I wasted my time luring Tubbo here. You wouldn't mind if I took care of him once we reach or discs, then?"

The blonde's smile returned. "Sure! Hell, I'd be happy to do that chore for you, since you aren't really the kind to dirty your own hands, hm? May as well since you've wasted my time. That was very impolite of you by the way, I have sensitive matters pending, you know?"

"....Right this way," Dream said cooly, leading Tommy to a hidden elevator that sunk down into the mountain. "Everything is down there."

@PoggersRanboo

@Elvira234

@EnderaMine

@Anchenwill

@ArcanaFlower

@Shadow Agent Isabelle

Sooo...

I'm making a ranboo animatic

Ehhh-

Yah-

Still got to animate tail

Hmph.

Also, I have a twitter now

That was also probably a bad idea

I'll be posting dmsp stuff there probably

https://twitter.com/Lance_Bayleaf