I was reading through my old google docs when I suddenly ran across this and I am absolutely rolling on the floor in laughter-- it's unfair how chaotically funny my past self was-
Anyhow, I wanted to share it with y'all so here's what it says:
Ever wonder why C!Techno and C!Phil both have gods that follow them around??? Well, there's a story behind that! Listen up kids, this one is a long one...
So, one day Philza dies in a hardcore world and meets the Goddess of Death and he's like “holy hell you’re hot” and Kristen’s like “this is the cutest and best human I have ever met, I'm keeping him” then they fall in love blah blah blah she turns him into an angel of death (basically a grim reaper) blah blah blah
ANYHOW, ONE DAY, Phil finds just a regular piglin in the nether and is like “you’re my friend now <3” and names it Technoblade because why not. But just like any living thing after some time it dies. Phil gets really really sad about his pet piglin dying so Kristen’s like “no- please- don’t be sad I can bring him back- stop crying- please” and Phil’s like ":0" and so Kristen brings the piglin back, but she also accidentally gives it a human conscious. Then she’s like “whoops lemme fix that“ but Phil says “nah, I like him better like this”.
So with Techno's new consciousness, Phil's pet turns into a friend. They go on a ton of adventures together and build up a really strong friendship and it's super sweet. BUTTT, just like all living things, Techno eventually dies. Phil cries even more than he did the first time and Death says “wait- no- please don’t be sad- I can bring him back! And this time I can give him immortality like you so he never dies!” and Phil’s like“I love you more than you could possibly imagine” and that’s how the immortal Technobalde came to be!!! :DDD
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!!!!! Because one day the Blood God catches drift of the rumor that the Death Goddess gave a piglin two second-chances at life + human consciousness + immortality and he’s like “I gotta see this” and so he comes over. Immediately he sees Kristen’s angel and he's like “no fair I want one!” and Kristen’s like “I mean I’ve got an extra. Here.” and hands him this tiny, terrified, immortal pig named Techno and the blood god’s like “omg he’s perfect, I’m keeping him”. Then the blood god curses him with the voices because he really doesn’t understand how living creatures work, but he once saw someone say sit to a dog until it sat, "so if the voices just keep chanting blood for the blood god, surely he’ll get the memo eventually" and that’s why techno has voices :DDD
And that's the end of the google Doc! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did, I think it's my favorite Headcanon I've ever written XD
Anyhow, hope you have a great day today! Take it easy guys, gals, and non-bianary pals. Peace out!
(PS: Do not say anything about CC!Techno in the comments. /srs Even if you're trying to be respectful, talking about C!Techno's creator is completely off-topic. This is just a lighthearted post about Character Techno, and I'd like to keep it that way <3)
