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THAT MOTHERFUCKER'S DEAD!

—QUACKITY DURING THE FESTIVAL


Jschlatt's funeral was held on November 19, 2020, three days after the events of the Manberg vs. Pogtopia War. The funeral was held at a venue just outside of L'Manberg and was organized by BadBoyHalo.

Schlatt's grave

Schlatt's grave was built into a hill near the border of L'Manberg. The terraformed hill contained decorative pillars, pools of magma blocks, and a lodestone covered by a button and an image of Schlatt in a fan-made animation made by @bottledblu. The benches were made of blackstone, and the aisle was composed of red nether bricks and rails. The grave site holds a twelve by fourteen block item frame image of Schlatt in a king's robe wearing a cap, along with a smaller image of Schlatt in the same gown holding a gun grinning menacingly in the entrance of the venue. The large image was defaced by Tubbo shooting Schlatt's mouth and by Fundy rotating Schlatt's mouth upside down. Schlatt's actual tomb was made of red nether brick on a custom terraformed hillside.

The ceremony

As Bad started the event, Quackity yelled "WOOOO LETS GO!" and pissed on the image, after Bad said "The former president of L'Manberg who is now dead". Bad then asked for a moment of silence as Schlatt's body was transported. Most attendees did not pay their respects and made intense humming sounds. Schlatt's remains were delivered in a minecart chest, a coffin. The items in the coffin contained body parts such as: "Jschlatt's Bones" (regular bones), "Jschlatt's Eyes" (two fermented spider eyes), "Jschlatt's Body" (a piece of leather), "Jschlatt's Heart" (a beetroot) and "Jschlatt's Wig" (a dyed leather helmet). Several attendees immediately opened the coffin to steal his body parts.

Bad insisted that everyone return Schlatt's remains to the coffin before they would continue with the speeches. Most of the attendees complied, but Tubbo and Tommy held on to Schlatt's bones, dual wielding them, while Quackity kept Schlatt's heart. Jack Manifold remarked that the coffin was a "Schlatt Goodie Box". Bad then said "We now have all of Schlatt's friends, enemies and loved ones here", which was met by laughter by the crowd and a response by Quackity blurting, "No, just enemies". Tubbo then went on to say a few words as Schlatt's coffin was shot and his body parts went everywhere.

The following is Tubbo's speech:

Yadayadayada...He's dead. Can I get an AAA? Can I get a WOOOO!.
I served under Schlatt for a while. I feel like I may have known him better than most of you. I feel like I got to know him, although...no one here's particularly a fan, let's be honest. Except for Puffy; I don't think you have a clue on what Schlatt did. So yeah, he did have what I consider a semi-compassionate side, even though he had me decorate my own execution. He was...he was an interesting man...He had a lot of strange ideals. he had his slurs, Schlatt did. he liked his slurs.


Quackity was the next speaker:

"Uhm...*clears throat* Realistically and jokes aside, I think serving next to Schlatt as vice president taught me a lot of important things in the world. Uhm, more importantly, a side of him that I think most of you didnt really knew. But if theres one thing i could say about Schlatt. Is that...

AYYYY THAT MOTHERFUCKER'S DEAD"

crowd cheers

"LETS GO HE'S DEAD!"


Quackity then ate Schlatt's heart in front of the attendees before Sam spoke:

Ladies and gentlemen. If we could divert our attention from here. I wanna bring everyone's attention to the picture back here.
Sam points at the small image of Schlatt grinning with a gun

I would, I would calmly call this picture 'Schlatt with the strap'. And ladies and gentlemen, I think we can all agree, exactly how most of Schlatt's reign was. It was Schlatt with a strap. Pretty tyrannical. I once watched him kill a cat, simply because he wanted to kill a cat. And overall he was a pretty horrible person for the server I think. And uhm, now he's dead. And that's why we're here.


After Sam's speech, Quackity went up to the podium again saying:

THAT MOTHERFUCKER'S DEAD!


Tommy then went up to give a surprisingly calm and polite speech, out of his usual dramatic character.

The speech goes:

Schlatt was a bad fella. And uhm, I didn't like him, cause he banished me. And I'm me, so why would he do that? I think Schlatt was a wrongin, and I'm glad he's dead. Uhh, Rest In Peace.


After the speeches, Bad showed the crowd the fan-made image (created by @bottledblu) above the tomb's entrance implying that Schlatt is in hell due to the red fiery background. The image was immediately removed via a stray arrow and Quackity then invited everyone to get "Some Twitch Primes Going". Tubbo remarked that "ONE PRIME IS ONE PISS ON SCHLATT'S GRAVE!". Bad opened up the tomb and invited everyone to get in line and say their final words, but was ignored as the attendees shot the item frames to form penises on the large image of Schlatt. Everyone then proceeded to spit on his grave, and Schlatt was cremated. Bad sealed the tomb, leaving 5 bones inside.

Quackity then teared up, and announced that he had to say just one more word to his beloved Schlatt. He pissed on Schlatt's remains before playing one last song for Schlatt.

The song goes:

"aaaAaAAaaAaa

aaAaaAAAaaaaa...

HaaAaaAAAAaaA

HaaaAaAAA

ahem

Hyeaaaa-

The motherfucker's deaaad.

he's now fuCKINg deaaAAD

THE MOTHERFUCKER IS BURNING IN HELL!!!

HE'S DEAAAAAD!!!!

AND HIS BODY'S IN HEEELL

HE'S FUCkinG DEAD AND I WON'T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY!"


With the event now coming to a close, Tubbo and Quackity threw Schlatt's remains into the river, while other members such as Jack and Tommy stole item frame sections of the large Schlatt image to place in their bases.

Aftermath

Unbenownst to the others, Puffy had dived in and collected the body parts of Schlatt that were thrown in the river to add to her collection. She would later put these body parts on sale for twenty diamonds each at her new renovated Target store, L'Targay.

Quackity broke into Schlatt's tomb and took all of the bones, stating that he wanted to revive Schlatt as a political puppet to gain absolute power on L'Manberg. He gave the bones to Sam, entrusting him with the task of performing a ritual to resurrect Schlatt.

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